love

so lets start with a happy thought. love. the most wonderful emotion of all. well, most ppl would agree so. anyway, think i have found it as well. at least i blieve so. the story is somewhat cinematic i say...
all my life, ppl called me 'shy'. true mostly. since childhood, i hav bn withdrawn and unfriendly. highly unfriendly with the opposites. i had few girl friends in school. pretty sure some of my classmates envied me. cox i got better grades. some didnt like me cox i was black. others cox i was poor. cant really blame them. thats sort of a culture in our uncivilized societies. but those who liked me liked me in spite of all my limitations or disadvantages. anyway, what im trying to say is, nurture did its part quite well to give me the 'introvert' personality...
so, things were no different when it came to finding guys. never had a bf until after i graduated from college. well, not that no guy approached me. there were some. to be exact, two guy did actually try. few others wanted too, but didnt dare try i guess...

the real thing

dear diary,
here i am. once again. after a long time. thought i would give it a chance. just once more. but it is hard. no idea why. well, thats not entirely true. maybe its fear. of others knowing. of the self within. the real thing. but i need this. i need you. to unload my mind. unleash the thoughts. happy and sad. right and wrong. clear and confused. love and anger. cox i know now. there is no one else. who might listen. understand. or i dun want to burden others. its not fair. so here i go...!